1. These nightmares have to stop. Thinking about her as soon as I am woken by one has to stop. Dreaming about her has top stop… Dreaming/ thinking about Lottie has to stop.

    Why is Amy still following me? Why am I still following her? Why do I care? Why am I checking my inbox everyday for a message from her?

    I hate her so much because she knows that she’s tearing me apart. It’s Lottie all over again.

    This has got to stop.


  2. The colour scheme on these buses are pink, purple and blue.

    I hate her, I hate her so much… I fell for her, and she knew I did and she treats me like dirt. I hate her so fucking much.


  3. I make so much fucking effort with Amy and she ignores me. I can’t deal with this anymore. She has hurt me more than anyone has in 3 years. I don’t deserve this.

    Does she not know what she’s doing? Or does she just not care?


  4. Okay, so I initially joked about it and sent her a jokey message about it, but then it hit me.

    To explain, Amy, the girl I fell for, tried to date but was ultimately rejected by just posted: i really need to get laid. if only someone liked me

    I initially joked and giggled but then it hit me. I FELL for you; I took you out on a date and bought you flowers. Now I KNOW that doesn’t mean I’m entitled to anything, please don’t think that’s what I think, but I DID like you, I STILL FUCKING LIKE YOU. I FUCKING ADORE YOU AMY!!! And then you post that, like you’re rubbing it in my face! What the fuck?

    There is a perfectly decent person here right in front of you who fucking would jump over mountains for you and you say that. I don’t understand. I feel so hurt, my body feels so heavy, I don’t know whether to scream or cry or, I don’t even know. Someone give me some advice here because I just feel like I’ve punched in the gut.


  5. Falling in love is the most dangerous thing a human can do to itself.

    Tagged #love
  6. I can’t even press send. I’m so pathetic.


  7. Hey…

    Hey…. Hi… Hey… She wouldn’t do it if I asked… It’s better to leave her alone… It’s better to pretend I’m not falling apart. Crying in the office alone… Fuck… I wish I had someone to talk to… Why is this happening?


  8. "It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to."
    — Bilbo Baggins (via his-mothers-son)

  9. No pressure, but I’m 90% sure that I’m in love with you.

    But you’re 19 and I’m 23 and I’m certain that that’s a thing I shouldn’t do.


  10. Frustrated

    Jet black hair just like her boots, probably a third year by her look of ‘I’m not really fucking bothered, can’t you not stare at my boobs.’

    I’m on the bus to my job which I’m not really a fan, if I could I’d get off this ride and I’d go straight to her hands.

    These little fantasies are what keep from refreshing my blog, my feed lacking notes from certain persons that I always think of.

    Sometimes it might be frustration, I haven’t fucked since 20-12, or it might just be a kiss I need so I won’t hate myself.

    I am tired of waking up alone with all of my clothes still on. I want to be deep between the thighs of a woman that I deeply love.


  11. She Probably not Lenin (work in progress)

    And I don’t really like Star Trek, I just say I do.

    Reblogging images of Bones just to get closer to you.

    Like the time you claimed you’re not Lenin and we laughed over gifs and shit.

    And it hurts so bad because I was so close to it.

    And it hurt so bad because I fell in love in under a minute.


  12. The worst thing is that I know she wants someone to love her. I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her and her candy floss blue hair. My coach pulling into Leeds coach station… That moment… I said outloud… Oh my god. And I fell in love.

    And I’ll never be able to tell her.


  13. The idea that I’ll probably never see Amy’s face again, face to face I mean, pulls my down into the deepest hole I’ve been in in 2 years. I spent so much time staring at her when I did, paying attention to the way she laughed, the curve of her smile, the shape of her eyes, the shade of her skin, the feeling of her hands… I should have held her hands… But it didn’t feel like enough, and I thought I would get another chance to take note of every little thing about her that made me feel warm.

    And even though it was only one kiss, it was the first kiss I got in 2 years. And it was sweet and comforting but I didn’t savour it enough… I didn’t kiss her enough…

    And I won’t get a chance to…

    Is it possible to miss something you never had?


  14. Things between me and Amy won’t work out. Right place, wrong time… I really feel for her…


  15. 3 Years, 1 Month, 1 Day


    The hole is calling,
    We all know I should have stayed,
    Hidden in the past.